


Don't Let Go

by iceprinceloki



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: First Time, Forced Marriage, M/M, Mpreg, Punishment, Romance, Sad!Loki, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-08
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-15 01:51:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1286728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceprinceloki/pseuds/iceprinceloki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki didn't let go, he held on to Gungnir and when his mother offered her hand he took it. Laufey lives and demands wereguild and Odin gives it in the form of a marriage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1: Take Hold

**Author's Note:**

> Very sorry it is so short I am trying to clear my creativity blocks for my story Allegiance and this came to mind when I was watching Thor earlier. If you want me to update it I will just let me know and give me an idea of where you want it to go.

Chapter 1: Take Hold

This was it, everything he had planned was crashing down around him in flames and flashes of bright light. His hand grasped Gungnir desperately as he hung from the end of the rainbow bridge. His father was grasping Thor’s booted foot, looking down at Loki as always. Loki felt something within him break as he watched his father’s disappointed eye roam his face.

“I could have done it father! For you! For all of us…” Loki hung on to Gungnir, desperate for his father to validate his actions, desperate for his father to save him with those three words he yearned for most. He wanted Odin to call his name and say it was alright, say that he was loved and wanted! He wanted his father to call him son, he wanted his father to save him from himself. Instead it was Frigga who answered his desperate pleas for understanding and love. He would later come to be grateful to her for stopping him from falling with the Bifrost into the void.

“No Loki!” Frigga came running with a shout of Loki’s name.

“Mother!” Loki gasped as he stared up at her outstretched hand.

“Loki take my hand, please take my hand, trust me.” Frigga’s eyes pleaded for him to comply and Loki swallowed and stared at his mother’s outstretched hand. He reached up and grasped it firmly allowing her to pull him up.

“Mother.” He murmured burying his face in the crook of her neck. He was vaguely aware of Odin lifting Thor up onto the bridge after him.

He shook silently as he felt his brothers’ strong arms join his mother’s arms around him and his father’s lips pressing to his forehead.

“Loki, you don’t know what you have started.”

Odin, Thor and Frigga all held him tightly in their arms and murmured soothingly to him.

“Loki, my Loki…..” Thor breathed anxiously while Frigga kissed his brow and ran her fingers through his hair kindly.

Loki felt heavy, he just wanted to sleep right there against Frigga’s breast but he knew Odin had a punishment for him. The king grasped Loki’s arm once all had calmed and lifted him to his feet. Loki looked up at his father through his lashes, Odin looked tired and sad. Loki felt guilt pang in his chest at the realisation that he had put that sadness there; he had aged his father so much.

“Come we must make reparations.” Odin sighed and began to walk away. Frigga wrapped an arm around Loki’s waist and Thor wrapped an arm around his shoulders from the opposite side and they led him back to the palace slowly.

Loki knew they were whispering comforting things to him but his eyes and mind were focused on his father’s back. Why was he not in chains being dragged to the dungeons? Why wasn’t Odin shouting and raging at him for what he had done? Perhaps the old king had wanted to try destroying Jotunheim for a while himself?

They arrived at the palace before long and Loki suddenly understood what Odin had meant about making reparations. Outside of his father’s office surrounded by silent guards was Laufey the Jotun king.

‘Damn it! I thought I killed him?’ Loki looked at Laufey with a frown and the king stood to tower over the smaller male.

“Thought you killed me eh? Tough luck for you, I’m not easily thrown aside.”

Loki scowled at the mocking tone in Laufey’s voice and opened his mouth to reply, only for the king to cut him off.

“Loki, I will have words with you but not now, now is the time to make up for your actions. While impressed by your cunning I am wholly disappointed in your inability to notice teleportation.” Laufey glared down at him, but Loki could see a smile twitching on the corners of the kings lips.

“That is how you survived? You just teleported randomly in Asgard?” Loki scowled irritably and Laufey leaned down to put his face level with Loki’s.

“Where do you think you get your adventurous nature from? It was fun, I appeared in a village not far from here and terrorised the locals. Oh how I have missed the screaming of terrified towns people…”

“Laufey could we get on with this tonight please? I do not think Loki has any interest in your magical abilities.” Odin’s weary voice interrupted anything Loki had been about to say and the frost giant king rose slowly.

He reached out and mussed Loki’s hair roughly, Loki slapped at the kings hand and glowered up at him furiously. The king sniggered and went into Odin’s office behind the older king and shut the door behind them.

Laufey’s low voice reached Loki through the heavy wooden doors of his father’s office. He knew they were discussing him and his punishment. He had destroyed a part of Jotunheim and it could not be ignored. Loki sat in the hall with his mother and brother waiting for his father to summon him in to receive his sentence.

Frigga whispered softly that she was glad he didn’t let go and she would take care of him and she loved him more than anything in the world.

“You know that don’t you? I always tell you when I get the chance. You were always my child and I always loved you, nothing will ever change that. Loki? What are you thinking about my pet?”

“Not much just…why am I here? Why am I not in the prison?” Loki looked searchingly at his mother’s shocked face and sighed. “Not that I am ungrateful or anything it’s just that, I am a criminal. I shouldn’t be treated like anything more, so why?”

Frigga rubbed his arm kindly and smiled gently at him. “You are our son Loki, you made a mistake and that is all there is to it. You will be punished but not by us retracting our love. We do love you Loki, do not doubt it ever. Punishment will come but it will not be abuse, your father and I have always believed in raising you both with fair punishments.”

The door to the office opened and the guard gestured to Thor. “Come in here my prince, your opinion is required.”

Thor stood slowly in confusion and looked uncertainly at Loki before he strode into his father’s office.

‘So Thor is to dish out my punishment? Or is he to approve of it?’ Loki thought bitterly, and sank down in his seat beside his mother.

**********************************************************************************

“Allfather, Jotunheim has doubtlessly been destroyed; the progress we made in rebuilding it has been undone. He tried to kill me and leave Jotunheim without a ruler, so not only would my realm have been destroyed it would have been war torn as well! You had best give us a reason to remain at peace with you.” Laufey hissed vindictively.

“Calm yourself Laufey, I have an idea. You know by now that Loki is your son, am I correct?” Laufey scowled at him in response.

“Yes what of him?”

“Perhaps we can come to an agreement which brings a permanent peace and allows you to rebuild your home.” Odin eyed Laufey and used his most persuasive tone calmly.

“I am listening.” Laufey gave him a cautious look and nodded sharply with his response.

“Marriage to Thor. Loki can bear children and as your son he is a prince of Jotunheim, if he marries Thor, I will order my army to aid in the rebuilding of Jotunheim and eventually I shall return the Casket of Ancient Winters. It was my original intention when I took Loki in, once I got to know him that plan fell from my mind, now I think it is time to reconsider it.”

Laufey nodded thoughtfully and then leered down at Odin sneakily. “That suits me but what of your son?”

“Guard, bring in Thor.”

Thor strode through the doors and stood beside Laufey looking at his father, silently waiting for one of the kings to speak.

“Thor Laufey and I have reached an agreement, I would have you agree before we finalise everything. You must remain calm and hear me out before you cast your judgement.” Thor frowned but nodded slowly.

“Alright father what is your proposal?”

“I proposed that Loki be married….to you in exchange for help rebuilding Jotunheim. We need you to accept as Loki will be your queen.” Thor gawped at him silently before shaking his head and pacing back and forth.

“What is the other option for Loki?” he asked nervously.

“Imprisonment.” Thor stared at his father grimly.

“I will wed him.”


	2. Chapter 2: To Wed

 

Chapter 2: To Wed

“Loki please come in. Frigga my queen we have come to a decision which shall suit us all.” Odin smiled tiredly at them and ushered them in calmly.

Frigga strode towards her husband and took his left hand in her right hand. “Please share it with us.”

Odin looked at Loki and gestured for Thor to speak. Thor walked towards Loki slowly, twisting his fingers in the hem of his tunic.

‘He looks nervous.’ Loki thought as he watched Thor.

Thor finally stood in front of him and hesitated briefly before dropping to one knee in front of Loki.

“Loki Laufeyson, we grew up together from our earliest days and now our bonds of brotherhood have been severed by our actions. We have become princes to separate realms and though we are no longer brothers we are still friends and well matched.” Thor paused in his rambling and looked up at Loki. “I am trying to say. Marry me Loki Laufeyson and join our realms in eternal peace.”

Loki stared at him silently and burst out laughing. It was too funny. Thor actually thought Loki would agree to such a sham?! ‘I mean; who does he think he is?’ Loki thought with a derisive snort.

“You must be fooling yourself if you think I’d be stupid enough to marry you!” He snarled irritably and only felt a small twinge in his chest as Thor’s face fell sadly.

“It really is not a question Loki, to ensure peace between our realms it would be best if we have this union. Laufey and I have already agreed to it, Thor has agreed to marry you and it is really your best option.” Odin said steadily from the other side of his desk.

Loki stared at his father in surprise and frowned at his words. What other option did he have? Imprisonment was probably his other option. Honestly while Loki wouldn’t like to marry his brother he had a feeling he’d become someone’s wife either way.

‘Rather be Thor’s wife than the prison wife of some filthy Midgardian pig.’ Loki thought grimly.

Thor stood slowly and took both of Loki’s hands in his own. “Loki we are princes, our lives do not belong to us, we must honour the wishes of our parents. I realise it is not the most comfortable arrangement but it will keep you from the jail cells. I swear to you I will do my absolute best to make our union work if you agree to it.”

Loki looked at Frigga who stared silently in shock at Odin. Upon feeling Loki’s eyes on her Frigga turned to look at Loki with a sympathetic smile on her face.

“Loki do you wish to discuss it with me?” She said quietly, her eyes glinting with knowing.

Loki shook his head, he wasn’t going to upset his mother more than he already had after all. “No, I will wed him.”

Frigga nodded uncertainly and tried to smile encouragingly at her sons.

“Well we had better get a move on then! We have a wedding to plan. We must call a seamstress for each of you. Oh and of course we need to arrange fertility tests and catering and a guest list. So much to do and so little time!” Frigga rushed out of the room with her head down and shoulders shaking.

Loki felt his stomach twist as her watched her shaking shoulders while she retreated, he had seen a badly restrained grin on her face as she past him and he felt a little wounded. His mother was either laughing at him or crying! Loki scowled after her silently and then glared murderously at the floor when Thor’s arms wrapped around his waist tentatively from behind in an intimate hold.

Slowly Loki turned his head to look at Thor viciously and he felt a sense of deep satisfaction when Thor paled and released him nervously.

“Loki I think it is time for you to go and rest, we can discuss particulars tomorrow. Thor I want you to escort Laufey to a room in the royal wing were he can stay, then I want you to turn in as well.” Odin came around the desk to embrace Loki tightly.

“Never doubt my love for you Loki. Do not think badly of me, I do only what is best for you.” The kings murmured words made Loki’s knees weaken with emotion but he concealed it. His arms were just as tight around Odin and when they withdrew from the embrace it was reluctantly.

The king hugged Thor next and sent them on their way.

Loki lay in the bath later that night, his mother was in his bedchambers waiting for him, she spoke to her handmaiden Tanis, Loki could hear broken segments of the conversation he knew they were discussing heirs that would come of the marriage.

‘I haven’t even gotten married yet and they expect babies. She is far too confident about this marriage; I don’t know how she can feel so positive.’ Loki sighed and sank deeper into the bath taking comfort in the warmth. Loki allowed his mind to stray toward Thor and he couldn’t help but cringe.

‘How does that even work? He’s a monster.’ All the while the small voice in Loki’s head reminded him that bullies often tease others for things which they don’t like in themselves.

‘Did I just call myself a monster?’ Loki tuned out his own thoughts and tuned his full attention to the conversation in his room.

“My queen do you think this is truly the best way to ensure peace?”

“Tanis I am simply glad to have both my sons here with me for the rest of my life. It is best for I fear that if this arrangement had not come about Loki would have been wed to a prince in another realm. I could not bear for my baby to be sent to another realm.”

“And the Prince Loki is to be the new queen when Prince Thor ascends the throne, does that mean he will bear the young for the pair or would Prince Thor seek out a woman to bear his child?”

“Loki will have to bear the children, it is traditional and I feel perhaps raising a family would help him to come to terms with who he is.”

“But he would then be required to bed Thor? You do not think he might protest Thor’s…..affections?”

“I am certain he will but that is for him and Thor to work through, in time Loki will become accustomed to Thor and may even love him. I know there are hard times ahead for my sons but I cannot help but feel relieved to know I can still see them both every day. I didn’t know Odin before I married him and I confess my wedding night was perhaps the worst of my life but I have grown to love and respect my husband because I am his wife and he treats me very well.”

“Ai I shall understand your positivity my queen when I have children of my own, I have watched the princes grow and I care deeply for them both and will do what I can to keep them safe and happy. When must the Prince Loki and the Prince Thor be seen by the healer?”

“In the morning, they must be seen to determine whether the marriage must be soon.”

“What shall determine the date of their marriage my queen?”

“If Loki is near to his fertile stages the marriage must happen soon, if we delay the wedding past his fertile stage Laufey can accuse us of delaying the return of the Jotuns Casket.”

“I see….does the Prince Loki know of this?”

“No I intend to tell him soon, it will not be a problem for Loki he had similar examinations when he began his cycles.”

“Very well my queen, shall I go and bring tea for yourself and the prince to drink when he is finished in the bath?”

“No thank you Tanis, you go on to bed now dear. Loki should be out any minute now.”

Loki sighed and took that as his cue to get out of the bath, his mother was clearly not planning on leaving until she got to speak to him about his actions. Loki dried off and dressed quietly, taking his time before he would have to speak to his mother, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to her he just didn’t want to have to explain himself to her he knew she would press him for answers and she would try to convince him that he was loved by them.

Loki couldn’t believe it, ‘Why would anyone want me? I am not really attractive am I? How could Thor possibly want me?’

Loki stared at his reflection and considered himself he had thick black hair that fell in soft waves to his shoulders and when wet curled in front to frame his face. His eyes were big and green and his eyes travelled lower to his deep red lips, they were like a rose bud on his face, his snow white face which was too pale to be beautiful.

He felt like a woman obsessing over his appearance. He lowered his towel to the floor and looked over his form. He had a slim build and the same milky skin, his nipples a dusty rose colour standing out in contrast to his skin. Lower down were his apparently male apparatus, Loki knew that he was not purely male and he knew he produced no seed he had tried many times to have the ability but his body was bent on ensuring he was a bearer.

Loki moved his fingers back to his womanly entrance and frowned, he knew how he would be expected to act for Thor, he had heard much about such things from the soldiers who would speak of conquering maidens, he couldn’t help but wonder how it would be; he was small and unused. He had tried touching himself before many years before and had stopped himself in shame at what he was doing; his mother had always told him it was better to experience the touch of a lover and he should try not to become used to his own touch.

Loki was so drawn in by the appearance of his own body that he failed to hear his mother walk through the door.

“Curiosity killed the cat Loki.” Her reprimanding voice made him draw his finger away with the slick of his warmth coating the tip.

“Forgive me mother, I was just thinking.” He caught her eyes in the mirror and smiled sheepishly.

“About your marriage to Thor? Or rather about the key elements of your marriage?” Loki’s face flushed and he nodded silently, Frigga laughed softly.

“Never fear my love, we have all been where you are now.”

“Truly? Have you ever been engaged to your brother?” Loki eyed her with a mischievous smiled and she slapped his arm to reprimand him.

“He is not technically your brother.” She smiled patiently and handed him his nightshirt.

“I know but it’s still strange. Aren’t you the least bit upset with father’s big idea?” Loki asked grumpily as he pulled the nightshirt over his head and arms.

“No, I am not upset. I get to have you all to myself for the remainder of my life. I am very happy with the marriage.” She smiled honestly at him and he internally grimaced.

“Mother it is strange and you know it. How am I supposed to let him bed me knowing he is my brother?”

“Not exactly your brother!”

“You know what I mean!”

“You know what I mean Loki. This will be good for you! It will be an adventure, just try it!”

“Fine but only because I don’t want to be a prison wife.”

“You love Thor you know you do.”

“I know no such thing.”

Frigga laughed as he ushered her towards the door impatiently. “Oh Loki denial is not just a river in Africa.”

Loki scowled. “Father said I must rest, we can speak in the morning when your head is screwed on straight!”

Frigga laughed and hugged him. “I love you very much dear….”

Loki hugged Frigga just as tightly. “I love you more….”

They separated and Frigga gave Loki one more smile before going to her rooms.

Loki sighed as he closed the door and locked it. His mother hadn’t even mentioned what he had done. He had expected a tongue thrashing of epic proportions. She had been gentle and kind…except for implying that he had deeper feelings for Thor, which was just mean….but Loki was glad she hadn’t drilled him for information. He wanted to think about what he’d done and come to terms with it before he spoke about it.

Uneasily Loki drifted off to sleep and dreamed of the wailing Bifrost falling.

**********************************************************************************

Laufey sighed as he settled onto the Aesir bed in the chambers he had been given by Thor.

The younger prince had informed him that there were doors which led to Loki’s room on one side and doors leading to Thor’s room on the other in case he needed either of them. He stared at the door leading to Loki’s room and frowned.

His son was in that room all alone probably feeling upset. Or he was alone and fast asleep, content in his warm bed. While not overly attached to Loki he felt some worry for his son. He didn’t want the boy to suffer alone if he suffered at all.

Laufey battled with himself about going to Loki or going to sleep. Finally he came to the decision to just take a peek at his son and make sure he was alright.

There was an intense curiosity in him regarding his youngest child; they had been together for about two days after Loki’s birth before Laufey had been summoned back to the battle field. After the war Loki was gone and Farbauti was dead. No one knew what had happened to the prince but it was assumed that he had been killed.

Slowly Laufey opened the door and peered into the luscious rooms. Loki was in bed tossing and turning anxiously. Upon closer inspection Laufey could see he was sleeping and having a bad dream.

Loki gasped and his face crumpled in fear and anguish.

“No please….help me father…I didn’t mean-” Loki whispered quietly in his sleep and Laufey knelt down beside the bed.

“Loki?” he tried quietly to wake the boy without startling him. “Loki it is just a nightmare, shhhh…..you are fine and safe in your own bed. It’s just a bad dream Loki, you are safe here.”

Loki stopped thrashing and his brow evened out slowly. His breathing levelled and Laufey smiled a bit.

“That’s it, dream of sweet things….the snowy mountains, the great Oliphants of the west, brave warriors battling trolls and the shining capitol city of our kingdom.” Laufey didn’t realise what he’d said until he’d said it.

‘Do I really want to share my kingdom with my youngest?’

It wasn’t like he wanted to give Loki up as a babe, he just hadn’t thought the Allfather would stoop to kidnapping. Farbauti had wanted to keep Loki alive and well, Laufey wanted whatever Farbauti wanted. If his queen wanted their youngest in their lives then Laufey would strive to honour his loves wish.

He stroked Loki’s dark hair gently and stood up to leave. “I will take you under my wing as your dam would have wanted. My Little Loptr….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets make a deal, for every ten comments I'll give you a new chapter? Okay? We good here people?


	3. Chapter 3: The Compulsory Fertility Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was going to be deep and all about Thor and Loki's thoughts on each other and wound up being smut mixed in. o.O Odd how often I do that! :D

Chapter 3: The Compulsory Fertility Test

Thor groaned loudly as he bucked into the warm grasp on his arousal. He panted and whined as the test was becoming unbearable. He closed his eyes and thought of Loki who was in the next room going through something very similar and he moaned again. The thought of Loki beneath him moaning and begging him and loving everything Thor did to him made starts shoot behind Thor’s eyelids. He bucked up a few more times with a throaty groan as the white ropes of fluid left his body.

So they now knew he was fertile which Thor knew all along having discovered his right hands better uses in his youth. He turned his head to look at the door separating him from Loki and listened to his brother whining pleadingly. Thor sat up in alarm and the healer pushed him to lie back down.

“Peace Prince Thor, he is being stimulated with a powerful scent which appeals to his deeper nature.” The healer soothed him as Loki gave another mewl in the next room. Thor stared at the door and gave a crooked smile to the healer.

“Can I have some of that?” he asked jokingly and the healer shook his head.

“That depends entirely on your betrothed.” Thor smiled and relaxed onto the bed as the healer checked his vitals.

Thor couldn’t help but listen to Loki and wonder how he was coping with the test. The healer left the room to fetch something stating that he would return momentarily and Thor felt his fingers itching as he looked at the door which separated him from Loki.

‘No I must respect Loki’s privacy, it is bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Well I doubt this is what they mean when they say that but still, Loki would be upset with me.’

Another desperate mewl and a growl told Thor that Loki was being teased something dreadful, it decided his next move for him and he crept to the door and opened it a crack to peek inside. Loki was lying on the medical bed and a healer held his arms above his head while another rubbed sensually between his spread legs.

Thor licked his lips and tilted his head to see better as the healer teased Loki by just pressing in circles on his entrance when Loki wanted so much more.

‘Beautiful, he is simply beautiful.’ Thor thought as he watched his brother bow his back in pleasure and keen softly.

Thor wanted nothing more in that moment than to walk in and kiss and lick that creamy skin until it shone a rosy pink like his lips. Thor wanted to grip Loki’s hips and kiss him and tell the smaller man how much he was loved as Thor moved deep within him.

‘It sounds so wonderful in my head, I hope it is just as good out of my head.’

The door snapped shut almost catching Thor’s fingers and he turned quickly with a guilty expression on his face as he saw his mother looking at him with pursed lips.

“Ehehe.” He laughed nervously when he noticed the healer standing behind his mother with a raised eyebrow.

“Hello mother.” He said finally. Frigga smiled and shook her head.

“You will never learn to mind your own business.”

Thor grinned. “Like mother like son! I’m just like you!”

Frigga smacked him of the arm. “Mind your tongue! I won’t tell Loki if that’s what you are worried about.”

Thor sighed in relief. “I was worried! Loki would never forgive me! Was there something you wanted mother?” Thor asked as he lay back down so the healer could continue his examination of Thor’s general health.

“I was wondering if you are aware of the witnesses for the ceremony.”

“Of course I am mother, why would you ask?”

“Loki isn’t aware yet, because he was not the heir he was not educated in things like royal marriage all he has ever been told is that your father and I would choose his husband for him.”

“And why are you telling me this?”

“Loki will find out about the witnesses on the night when I take him to prepare. I want you to be good to him, he is still young, he is still inexperienced and new to such affection and he may be……..difficult, because of everything he has learned about himself in the last few weeks.”

“Mother of course I will be good to Loki, I may not understand what has changed in him but I will strive to make him happy, I swore that to him.”

“I just wanted to ensure you know what I expect from you.”

“I do mother.”

“Good now turn over so the healer can continue; he has tried to make you change positions four times already.”

“Oh I never noticed! Sorry.”

**********************************************************************************

With Loki the tests were going poorly, so far he had been scolded and prodded and jabbed in all his pressure points. He was at his wits end, the healers seriously expected him to become aroused after all this fuss? They were caressing him trying to get a reaction out of him and they were failing miserably.

Finally they both left the room and Loki scowled at their retreating backs. A sound caught his attention from behind a door on the other side of the room. Curious Loki got up and went to it, He opened it a crack and looked in.

Thor lay on a medical bed going through the fertility test just like Loki except the healer focused on his male apparatus as Thor had none of the extra parts Loki had. Curiously Loki got up onto his tippy toes to get a good look at his brothers writhing form.

Thor was blessed with sun kissed skin and hair to match the light of the sun. Loki grimaced as he caught a glimpse of his brothers size, the wedding night would definitely hurt. Thor’s body was muscular and powerful.

‘Like a great cat…’ Loki mused as he stared at Thor as he bucked into the tight hold of the healers hand. Loki felt his breath hitch as his brother came on the healers hands the white cream answering the question of fertility once and for all.

The door snapped shut and almost caught Loki’s fingers and he spun around to stare at his mother’s disapproving face which was flanked by the equally disapproving faces of the healers. Evidentially they thought he was being difficult and had summoned his mother to set him straight.

“Uhm, mother I uh….”

“Don’t try it Loki just come here and lie down, I won’t tell Thor if that is what worries you. The healers said you were being difficult for them. They wanted me to come settle you.”

“They were hurting me! Can I be blamed for not being particularly interested in them after that?”

Frigga stared at him and chewed her lip “You won’t always be willing Loki but it would help if you relax.” Loki frowned and said nothing, he just lay back and spread his legs for the healers.

They moved again and one opened a jar and rubbed the cream onto his chest and Loki was over powered by the most arousing scent he had ever smelt. He groaned and spread his legs wider. The healer resumed his gentle strokes on Loki’s sides and hips trying to relax and arouse him further.

If Loki released the clear fluid from his manhood his female fertility was assured but stimulating his manhood alone wasn’t going to make him come, he knew from young that he needed more contact than that. He was vaguely aware of his mother suddenly getting up and leaving in a hurry.

The smell was strong and he loved the feeling the healer was causing him and wondered if Thor could do this. It didn’t take long for Loki to release with a loud groan and he watched as the healer cleaned him up, apparently satisfied with the proof of his fertility, then the healer checked his fluids to find when his next fertile stage would be.

“My prince congratulations your next fertile stage is in just under two months’ time. I shall inform the Allfather at once.”

“By all means but promise me something.”

“Anything my prince.”

“Give Thor that cream, it did wonders to me.”

The healer stifled a laugh and left rapidly and Loki slowly dressed himself and left he healers rooms to return on shaky legs to the library where he had been reading peacefully when his mother had dragged him off.

 


	4. Married

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took so long! I was sick and only wrote for a short time each day! :p I hope you like it! And please tell me if you want to see the smut in the next chapter or if I should just go to the day after?

Chapter 4: Married

Loki was walking to his mother’s chambers slowly one afternoon, he had just encountered Laufey in the library and wasn’t feeling too impressed.

*Flashback Starts* Loki sat in a window seat of the library with his favourite book; The Tale of Gerd. A shadow loomed over him suddenly, taking him by surprise. He looked up into the eyes of Laufey and scowled.

“What do you want?”

Laufey smirked at him and raised one brow authoritatively. “Just thought we could have a little chat, father to son.”

Loki stood up primly and began stalking away. “Well I don’t want to talk.”

Laufey followed him through the rows of bookshelves. “Well I do want to talk. Therefore we will talk. Sit Loki.”

Laufey pushed him into a chair, Loki gave an indignant yell and tried to stand up. Laufey just pushed him back down into the chair and held him there with one big finger.

“Now, if you are quite ready to behave like the adult you claim to be?”

Loki gave Laufey a murderous look and the king sniggered, Laufey lifted one big hand to poke Loki’s cheek.

“You are so cute when you are angry, just like Farbauti was.”

Loki crossed his arms and sulked petulantly.

“You are aware that the Casket is to be returned once you have a child yes?” Laufey eyed Loki carefully.

Loki frowned and nodded briefly. ‘Where is he going with this?’

“Well I don’t want to pressure you Loki but you did destroy Jotunheim and the Casket is sort of needed for us to rebuild.” Laufey said slowly, watching Loki’s face to see if the boy understood his meaning.

It clicked suddenly for Loki, what Laufey was asking him for.

“You want me to get pregnant at once.” He said hollowly.

Of course Loki had known he would have to have children but for Laufey to want him to have one immediately? After everything Loki had been through the last few weeks he was not keen to go about ruining his life further by having children he didn’t want.

“Odin said he would send the army to help you rebuild Jotunheim. You don’t need the Casket.” Loki said coldly and Laufey frowned.

“There is no need to be cross Loki, it is a reasonable request, a baby would mean I get my Casket and you get to have a child.”

“I don’t want a child though, I have better ways to spend my time.” Loki insisted indignantly. “I am too young for a child anyway, I don’t know how to raise one.”

Laufey sniggered. “You will learn quickly enough.”

“Like you did?”

Laufey paused and eyed Loki wearily. “Loki-”

“No.” Loki stood up. “You cannot talk to me about having children and raising them if you never did it yourself. I’m finished with our talk.”

Laufey didn’t stop him as he turned and walked away out of the library. He breathed a sigh of relief when he was out in the hall. Laufey hadn’t followed him and hadn’t harmed him, he was safe.*Flashback Ends*

Now his mind was plagued as he stood in Frigga’s chambers getting his wedding robes fitted.

“Loki my child what do you expect me to do? I am bound to obey your father as you shall be bound to obey Thor. If it is his wish that you marry then I will support him. You know full well it was your actions that brought you to this Loki.”

Loki had walked into Frigga’s room trying to appear natural and unconcerned but it only took a little pressing to get him to open up to his mother. She knew Loki was nervous and he regretted choosing marriage over death or imprisonment but as his mother she knew he would be safe with Thor, his husband would take excellent care of him. She had been lucky to have Odin as her husband, like Loki she was tense and anxious before her wedding but Odin was not how she thought he would be. He was kind to her and after consummating their marriage he didn’t touch her until she wanted him to.

She sighed knowing Loki was going to fight Thor all the way, she still had not told Loki about the witnessing. She had a feeling he would react badly to the idea and demand to be imprisoned. Loki was staring at her and she guessed he must have said something.

“Mother? Have you spoken to Thor?”

She smiled fondly and brushed a loose strand of his hair behind his ear. “Yes Loki I have discussed the marriage at length with Thor. He is very excited to start a new life with you.”

Loki scowled at her irritably. “Don’t jest mother, it is not appreciated.”

She shook her head with a sigh and prodded him up onto a stool. The seamstress had to make final adjustments to his garb. Loki winced as a needle stuck in his thigh and scowled down at the girl.

“You realise we only have a week until your wedding. If you had concerns you should have mentioned them earlier, there is really no turning back now.”

“I know mother but still! I didn’t think about any of this before now, if I had I might have chosen differently.”

“Don’t talk like that, you know you have made a good choice by marrying Thor. It’s just last minute nerves, I know you Loki. You may think you appear to be calm and unaffected but I know full well that inside you are quaking and staring around with those big green eyes of yours.”

“Mother don’t presume to know how I feel. I am not as easy to read as you think, I have no weakness and I am not uncomfortable about marrying Thor. I just don’t think I should have children, they are disgusting things.”

“Oh Loki, stop it, you don’t fool me, why are you really against it?”

“Mother-”

“Don’t. Lie. To me.”

“I’ll break them, if I have babies I will hold them wrong or feed them bad things or under-feed them or spoil them too much or not be there enough. Mother I will break them!”

“Aw Loki, You will make a fine parent to your children, remember you are not alone, I will be here to help you and Thor and Odin shall also be here to help you.”

“Psht Thor will not want anything to do with a baby.”

“He can surprise even you Loki, just wait and see.”

**********************************************************************************

Loki woke on the day of the wedding in a foul mood. He had been having bad dreams all night and knew they may all become realities. The handmaidens who were meant to prepare him for the ceremony were trying to coax him out of his bed and he refused crossly. They finally gave up and left, only to return with his mother. Loki scowled and buried himself deeper into the bed.

“Come Loki you need to prepare, I will not have you getting married looking like you just fell out of bed. You heard me Loki, get up!” Frigga had always been strict with him and he knew she would find a way to get him out of bed.

He groaned and clawed his way partially out from under the covers and stared at his mother. “I have only just won the trust of my blankets, if I leave now they may never trust me again.”

Frigga scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Honestly Loki, the things that come out of your mouth do not even surprise me anymore. Although it is a far better excuse than Thor’s: ‘I’m drunk.’”

Loki rolled out of bed finally and stood up, allowing the girls to lead him to the warm bath which had been drawn. He lay in the hot water eating breakfast while the girls washed him and his mother explained how the day would go.

“After the ceremony you and Thor will retire to your new chambers. I don’t think I need to tell you what will transpire there? Good. Then you shall come to the feast and Thor shall present us with the proof of your chastity.”

Loki tuned her out and thought about Thor. He was an idiot but a mostly harmless one. Loki knew he may get hurt a few times in the marriage and he knew what his role would be. He would have to become his mother for Thor. The witless oaf would expect Loki to play the role of his queen, he would raise their children and keep their bonds with the people strong and look like he was happy every day. He would always smile for the people, whether he felt like it or not.

They had run into each other briefly a few times, mostly when Loki was leaving his mothers company and Thor was coming to see her. They hadn’t spoken much and avoided each other for the most part. Odin seemed weary of their silence but did not interfere, much to Loki’s relief. He needed time alone, he could not put up with Thor just then. He couldn’t even handle these girls who scrubbed so hard at his skin to give it a pink glow!

********************************************************************************

‘Here comes the bride all dressed in white.’ Loki thought sourly ‘All prettied up for his royal highness Thor, the god of thunder. Psht! Not that impressive.’ He sulked as he was led up the steps towards his future husband. Thor wore his fancy armour with the red cape and winged helmet. Loki rolled his eyes at the sight of Thor beginning to preen and puff his chest up in an attempt to look attractive and male for Loki.

Odin had them recite their vows and exchange rings. Loki listened briefly to the words coming out of his own mouth and struggled not to start laughing.

“I shall bind my soul to yours that we may share sorrow and joy and we shall be one. I am yours eternally and shall serve and obey you to the best of my ability. I shall always love and support you in your endeavours as king of Asgard. This I pledge to you in the name of my father and his father before.”

Thor’s vows were similar but Loki paid them no mind. Loki’s ring was gold with emeralds set in Thor’s name along the band and Thor’s ring was a gold band with sapphires set in Loki’s name.

They were beautifully crafted and Loki admired his ring until Thor’s index finger curled under his chin to lift his face. Loki stared blankly at Thor for a moment before he realised something crucial. Thor was about to kiss him. Loki made a noise of protest and pulled back. His back met resistance and he realised Thor had an arm wrapped around his waist pulling him closer, Loki pursed his lips and winced, waiting for the rough kiss he had seen Thor deliver to maidens of the court.

Soft. Soft and comforting pressure on his lips smoothed the lines of his face and weakened his knees. Loki didn’t respond to the kiss just accepted it, he opened his mouth when he felt Thor’s tongue pressing to his lips begging him to part them. Thor’s kiss tastes like strawberries and Loki wonders if it is always like that or if Thor prepared with the knowledge that Loki loves strawberries. It doesn’t seem to matter as he places his hands on Thor’s shoulders and kisses back, looking for more of this sweet taste. He felt saddened suddenly. ‘Lovers do this. People who love each other, Thor does this. Everyone loves Thor. Loki never does this. No one truly loves Loki like this.’ Loki drew back and became aware of the cheers from the Aesir crowd below as he is led to his new chambers.

 


	5. Wedding Night

Chapter 5: Wedding Night

Loki followed Thor through the halls and knew they were being followed by Odin, Frigga and a few council members. He frowned but assumed they wanted to make sure the Loki went peacefully into Thor’s rooms. It wasn’t Thor’s rooms though; Loki had never seen these rooms before, they were large and spacious and lavishly decorated in soft blues and browns. Frigga came and took him away from Thor into an adjoining room where Eir waited for him. They stripped him down and Eir presented Frigga with a small round container.

“Loki, there is something you need to know about the consummation-”

“Lie back and think of Asgard, I know mother.”

“That is not what I meant to tell you. The consummation is witnessed Loki. Members of the council, Laufey, Odin and I will witness the consummation to ensure it is done.”

Loki blinked at her his cheeks were reddening. ‘My mother is going to watch my brother claim me? Gross!’

“Don’t look at me like that Loki, the curtains will be drawn around the bed, and we will see your shadows not your bodies. Lay back on this bed.”

Numbly doing what he was told he allowed Eir to smear his entrance with oil from the container. It was cold and slick and Loki knew what it was for, he wasn’t a child. His mother really picked her moments to tell him important things. Now he was stressed! Couldn’t she have warned him before he said his vows?! Frigga sighed at the filthy look he was giving her and helped him put on a soft white robe.

Eir handed him the container and a glass of wine. He put the container in his pocket and they led him into the wider room where council members were seated around the large four poster bed. Loki saw Laufey beside Odin and the warriors three were talking to Thor. Sif looked especially distasteful and clearly disapproved of their laughter and quiet jokes.

Thor turned and smiled at him, raised his glass in a salute to Loki before allowing Odin to lead him to the opposite side of the bed. Loki was led behind the curtains first and his mother removed his robe and helped him settle into the bed. He saw the white furs of some Jotun beast on a pillow which he was expected to place his hips on. Stubbornly he removed the pillow and lay down with his arms crossed. Frigga placed the container of oil under his pillow and kissed his head, she began withdrawing and he grabbed her wrist.

“Wait!” he whispered “A dagger, mother, to cut myself with if I don’t bleed.”

She had a look on her face that made him nervous. “You won’t need a dagger Loki, believe me.”

‘Well that is encouraging.’ He thought nervously.

He lay silent and still for a few more minutes before Odin brought Thor from behind the curtains and helped him remove the robe and get into the bed before he left them in peace.

It was awkward and neither moved nor spoke for a minute. Thor finally turned onto his side to face Loki and he reached out to place his large hand on Loki’s abdomen, tugging him closer to the centre of the bed. Loki shifted until his side was against Thor’s chest. Loki stared at his hands on his chest, he didn’t want to look at Thor, and he wanted Thor to get it over with.  Thor seemed to pick up on his wish and began by kissing his neck and nuzzling his ear. Thor’s hand moved to sit beside Loki’s head and Thor positioned himself over Loki, kissing him on the lips softly and lowering his hands down Loki’s sides to grip his hips.

Loki whimpered when he felt Thor’s hard body pressing him down, he felt almost claustrophobic and struggled to pull out of the kiss and face away from Thor.

“Shhh take the time you need Loki, they can wait for us to finish.”

Deep breaths, that’s all he needed, deep breaths.  ‘I shouldn’t be feeling nervous about this!’ he scolded himself trying to ignore the little voice in the back of his head which reminded him of how large the hardness against his thigh was.

Loki looked at Thor and nodded. Thor sat up between Loki’s legs and rubbed all over his body gently, slowly moving his hands closer to Loki’s intimate parts. When Loki felt Thor’s fingers rub against his folds he mewled in surprise and Thor grinned at him, rubbing deeper until he found Loki’s moistening entrance. Loki gripped Thor’s biceps and spread his legs wider, wanting more contact with Thor’s fingers.

Loki didn’t even notice when Thor’s free hand slid under the pillow and withdrew the oil. He did notice when Thor’s finger was no longer stroking him. He looked up at Thor through lidded eyes and watched his brother rubbing the oil on his erection; Thor was looking at Loki while he pumped himself and that sight made Loki buck up his hips.

Thor stopped and leaned down to take Loki’s hands in his own. He laced their fingers together and placed their hands on either side of Loki’s head. Thor growled and lay down on him, pressing a firm kiss to Loki’s lips, nibbling on his lower lip to beg for entry. Loki was really getting used to the kissing and he kissed back vigorously.  He felt the thick blunt head of Thor’s cock nudge against his entrance and his eyes shot open, he squirmed under Thor trying to get away but he couldn’t because Thor was much bigger than him.

Thor pulled out of the kiss to soothe him with sweet words. “Shh Loki calm down, breath.”

Thor waited until Loki’s breathing evened out and he untangled one hand from Loki’s so he could cup his brothers face. “Loki, is this your first time?” he whispered to Loki.

The smaller male gave him a filthy look which answered more than he would have liked.

Thor chuckled quietly. “You are too cute for our own good. May I try again?”

Loki scowled, he was not cute! He nodded shortly to Thor and lay back. Thor kissed his neck and began making a nice hickey while pressing into Loki again.

Loki winced when the head was finally in, he knew the rest of the length would be thicker and he understood his mother’s words suddenly when Thor gave a short thrust which put half his cock inside of Loki. He felt something tear and wetness drip onto his backside from his vagina. Thor stilled and stroked his cheek, looking into his eyes to see if he was ok. He felt tears on his cheeks, his entrance burned and bled and he gripped Thor’s hands for comfort. Thor soothed him and waited for another minute before he pressed the rest of his length into Loki. Loki cringed and tried to relax and adjust to the intense stretch his brother’s size made. Thor kissed him and whispered encouragingly to him as he began to thrust into his new wife.

“You’re doing so well Loki. It’s alright I’ll be gentle. Shhh, it’s ok.”

Loki felt the burn subsiding and he started to feel good, Thor’s thrusts were creating a friction against his sweet spot, sending sparks of pleasure through his body. He whimpered and bit Thor on the shoulder as his brother picked up the pace. Oh yes, it was certainly worth the pain, if he could ignore the fact that it was his brother the whole scene would be perfect.

The slick in and out motion of Thor’s cock felt amazing and Loki frowned when Thor’s thrusts lost their rhythm and he pounded deeper into Loki than he had previously.

‘He’s close!’ The thought of Thor releasing his creamy white seed inside Loki almost made the smaller male growl with arousal. He groaned when he felt one more press against his sweet spot that sent him over his edge. Thor followed swiftly. They lay panting and kissing tenderly for a few minutes and when they caught their breathe Thor pulled out of Loki’s tender flesh and lay on his back.

“It is done.” He called gruffly. The curtains were drawn back by servant and Odin stepped towards them.

“Are you married Thor?”

“I am.”

“Are you married Loki?”

“I am.”

“I proclaim you the royal couple of Asgard.”

The drama over, their witnesses left and Thor stood up to get dressed again. Loki stood as well and went to the room where his clothes were waiting for him. He dressed and came back out to Thor and found his brother dressed and staring at the bed.

“Thor?” his husbands head shot up and he stood and approached Loki.

“Are you alright Loki? I didn’t hurt you did I? I saw-There is a lot of blood.” Thor gnawed his lip.

“I’m fine Thor, it’s just a little sore.” Loki said firmly.

His husband frowned in disbelief. “I will get something from Eir for you, and I will apply it later when we retire.”

Loki nodded and lifted the white fur from the bed staring at the bloody stain. It was large but he knew it could have been worse. Handing Thor the fur he walked to the door and led his husband to the feasting hall.

**********************************************************************************

They had been met with loud cheers of the wedding guests and Thor held up the white fur proudly for all to see the proof of Loki’s virginity. He might have cringed in shame if he had been a guest at another brides wedding, he had always looked at their bloodied sheets and felt sympathy. Now at his own wedding he wanted to puke and hide. Everyone knew what he and Thor had just done, Loki felt like everyone was mocking him and laughing about his purity. Loki had never wanted to get married, the first wedding he saw had made him upset enough to ask his mother if he could be single forever.

Frigga smiled kindly at 16 year old Loki and she stroked his cheek fondly. “Oh Loki, one day you will understand that it can be very pleasurable, there is nothing to fear from marriage my baby boy.” He had frowned and refused to believe her; there was blood, blood meant pain. She laughed and told him to be patient and that his turn would come soon.

Well she had been right his turn had come soon but he still failed to see the point of copulating, to him it seemed to be an act meant to humiliate the bride by using some form of magic to make them feel good. It was how he really felt. There was no doubt. He hadn’t enjoyed making love with Thor. He really hadn’t and even if he had he’d never admit it.

‘Liar. ’

After much feasting and dancing Thor swept Loki up like a woman in his arms and carried him out of the halls to the cheers of their guests. He carried Loki to their rooms and took him to the bed to lay him down.

“Stay here Loki, I will apply the cream.”

Loki protested half-heartedly when Thor stripped his clothes off carefully and then undressed himself. Thor knelt on the bed between Loki’s legs and spread his bride’s creamy white thighs so that he would have better access to Loki’s tender entrance. He scooped up some cream on his fingers and carefully began rubbing it into the sensitive skin. Loki was tired from all the excitement, but he could feel himself becoming aroused and his cock beginning to rise in response to the fingers against his entrance.

Thor swallowed hard and looked and Loki’s face curiously. “Loki?”

Loki sat up and crawled up to straddle Thor’s thighs. Pressing a kiss to Thor’s lips and rolling his hips against Thor’s awakening manhood. They both moaned and felt the heat and arousal growing. Loki lifted himself to make Thor enter him, and groaned when Thor gripped his hips, holding him away.

“Not tonight Loki, you’re too sensitive. If you are better healed tomorrow night I shall give you what you want.”

Loki glared at him but when Thor refused to give in he sighed and nodded. Thor lowered Loki back to grind against him and Thor lay down on his back, allowing Loki to set their pace. It took a few minutes for them both to finish and collapse. Before Loki fell asleep he had the thought that perhaps Thor was right about not penetrating him, he was burning again from grinding on Thor.

Thor sighed as he cuddled Loki close, their love making had been wonderful. Loki was hot and tight and so wet for Thor that when he first entered him he thought he would come immediately. Thor had to stop himself to regain control over his hormones, he needed this to be good for Loki, he wanted his brothers first time to be special. Loki seemed to enjoy it and Thor felt confident that he had given Loki a good first time. His confidence was only boosted when Loki started their second encounter.

As Thor replayed it in his head over and over he felt himself harden slightly and he shifted so Loki wouldn’t feel his interest. Loki had been so nervous and shy about it that Thor was nearly cooing at him as though he were a baby.

‘It probably wouldn’t be appreciated.’ He looked at Loki’s peaceful face and stroked his bride’s cheek, he was beautiful and Thor desired him greatly. He had always felt a deep love for Loki and when he was given the opportunity to marry the subject of all his wet dreams he took it. ‘I wonder if I could get Loki into a leather cat suit…….’

 


	6. Married Life Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took such a long time and I am so sorry! I want an opinion please about another story idea I had; I want to write an Odin/Frigga story about how their married life starts. I gave a brief description of how it might have started in my other story Betrothal Greatly Despised. Let me know if you'd read a story like that please!

Chapter 6: Married Life Begins

Loki woke up with a killer headache, unbeknownst to Thor he had started drinking the moment they arrived at the feast and quickly became sozzled. He was in Thor’s bed and had no idea how he’d gotten there but he could hear Thor nearby and decided to keep quiet and still, he didn’t want to alert his husband to the fact that he was awake. Loki didn’t know what he would say to Thor, it was far too awkward, but there was no way to avoid him forever.

“I know you’re awake Loki, sit up and eat, I ordered fruit for breakfast, I know it’s your favourite.”

Loki grimaced and turned onto his back to look at Thor, his husband sat beside him with two bowls of fruit cuts he sighed and began sitting up only to drop back down with a gasp of pain when he felt his overused entrance complain about the movement. Thor frowned in concern and put the bowls on the bedside table, he opened a draw and pulled out a cream and approached Loki with it.

“You need this again, Eir said you probably shouldn’t be penetrated by more than one or two fingers for about a week.” Thor fell quiet and stared expectantly at him.

Loki shifted nervously, “What are you looking at?”

Thor sighed in exasperation and shook his head. “You must lower the covers and spread your legs so I can apply the cream.”

“What? No, you have seen enough of my body!” Loki clutched the covers tighter against his chest and shied away from Thor.

“Loki I will continue to see more of your body for the rest of eternity. Lower the blankets.”

“No!”

“Loki-”

“No! Thor please just leave me alone!”

Frigga had told Thor that Loki would be a little sensitive about his body because he never saw himself as attractive and now that he knew he was a Jotun his self-esteem was even worse. Thor sighed and leaned down to lie on his side behind Loki, he pressed a few kisses to Loki’s shoulder and rubbed a hand up and down Loki’s arm.

“Loki…you are so beautiful,” Kiss “please don’t hide yourself from me baby.” Kiss kiss kiss.

“Thor stop.”

“No, Loki you need to be told how beautiful you are, you need to be shown how much I love you.”

“Thor-”

“I won’t take no Loki, I won’t do anything beyond what you want to do but you need this cream to take some of the sting away.”

“Can’t I put it on myself?”

“I don’t think you can reach all the way inside.”

“Fine, be quick.”

Loki lay sulking while Thor tugged the blanket down, Thor smiled and stroked his hair. Thor decided to sit beside Loki instead of between his legs and he dipped his fingers in the cream and quickly reached down to apply it to Loki. Thor made sure to cover all the bruising inside and out with the cream but Loki quickly became irritated and tugged the blankets up again, slapping Thor’s hands away.

Thor just smiled and kissed his neck. “You are beautiful Loki. Now eat, there are lots of strawberries in this.”

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Loki and Thor weren’t expected to leave their rooms for the week but after a day Loki was far too bored and cooped up to stay inside. He dragged Thor out of their rooms so they could have dinner with their parents.

Frigga stood up quickly in surprise when she caught sight of her sons. “Loki! Thor! We weren’t expecting to see you for a week! Come sit here my sons, we were just about to start dinner.”

They did as she bade them and Loki sat beside Frigga and Thor sat on Loki’s other side.

“How are you Loki?”

“I am well mother thank you for your concern.”

“Thor? Are you well?”

“Yes mother I am right as rain.”

“You are dreadful at puns my child. However I am glad you are well.”

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while before Loki broke it in frustration. “Is Laufey still here?”

Odin looked up at him with a frown. “No he left shortly after the bedding ceremony. I am sorry if you wanted to speak with him I am certain we can arrange it.”

Loki shook his head calmly and resumed eating his vegetable bake. Frigga smiled at Loki and looked over his head at Thor, she gave him a look.

Thor sighed quietly with one thought. ‘She wants to speak with me.’

The rest of dinner was filled with aimless chit chat and polite conversation. When the time came for them to leave the hall they did so slowly and went to the royal wing, once there they stood in the corridor awkwardly.

“You go on, I want to speak with mother.” Thor nudged Loki in the direction of their chambers.

Loki frowned suspiciously but left them alone anyway. Odin gave Frigga a kiss on the cheek before retiring to their chambers. So Frigga and Thor were left alone in awkward silence.

“Walk with me Thor.” Frigga placed her hand on Thor’s arm and they began to walk. “How is he?”

“Well enough I suppose considering everything that’s happened. This morning I had to apply a salve Eir gave me and uh he….he didn’t want me to look at his body.” Thor replied nervously, he wasn’t sure if his mother would be cross with him for bruising Loki or not.

“That is to be expected, didn’t I tell you that his self-esteem is poor?” Frigga glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

“I know that but I……..Last night when we left the feast for the night. He started a second encounter with me and I hoped that he…” Thor sighed in frustration.

“You thought that he felt love for you, you thought he wanted to be with you. He does love you and he does want you but I think that perhaps he won’t admit it to you, he fears the rejection from you that he received from your father. He truly thinks he is unattractive, useless, worthless and weak compared to you, compared to Odin. These wounds will take a long time to heal Thor, even with help, so don’t try to speed up the process; you’ll push him further away.”

“Thank you mother, I appreciate your help with Loki, no one knows him as well as you do.” Thor smiled at her and took her hands in his. “Do you think Loki will be with child from our first union?” He asked hopefully.

Frigga laughed. “Thor! These things take time! Be patient! When you are both ready and the time is right you’ll have your own children to deprive and abuse!”

Thor laughed with her and kissed her hands lovingly. “I love Loki, mother and I want to have a life with him. I don’t know where to start beside children.”

Frigga smiled tenderly and stroked his cheek, “You will find that everything will work out without too much thought from you. Be patient with him, he is in a whole new life and he is probably secretly terrified. Now go, I think you and Loki need to talk. Your father is waiting for me. Goodnight my son.” Frigga walked into her chambers and shut the door.

Thor sighed, his mother was always right, especially about Loki. He knew he could trust her judgment but he had to follow Loki’s lead. He walked into their rooms and found Loki already in bed reading.

“Loki? Can we talk about this morning?” Thor asked hesitantly as he neared the bed.

Loki grit his teeth and grumbled a snappy response. “There is nothing to talk about.”

Thor sat beside his husband and took the book from his hands easily. “Loki please we need to talk about your self-image.”

Loki tried and failed to get his book back from Thor and glared at him. “I don’t want to talk to you. I want to sleep and forget that anything has changed.”

Thor stroked Loki’s face, then grasped his shoulder and shoved him down before lying down beside him. Thor held Loki firmly in his arms and waited for him to stop fighting before he spoke.

“Loki this is new to both of us and I know it’s scary and you feel over whelmed. I feel that way too! I want to find a way to make this easier on both of us. I want to start with how you felt about your body this morning. You didn’t want me looking, I want to understand why.”

Loki frowned at him and looked at Thor in disbelief and suspicion. “I mean it Loki, talk to me, tell me how you felt this morning.”

Loki gnawed his lip a bit more before sighing. “I…Thor I have never just been..aaahr! I can’t talk about this!”

“No Loki please keep talking! We are making some great progress please don’t clam up baby, keep talking to me. Please Loki, my lover, tell me how you felt.” Thor pressed more encouraging kisses onto Loki’s face.

“I have never been what you liked! I have never been like any others our age! I have never been strong or beautiful enough for anyone. I don’t want you to look at me, you deserve better…” Loki trailed off brokenly. He had only ever told his mother how he felt about himself and that had been a long time ago. “I just wish I was good enough. When I found out what I am I just felt even more worthless and unattractive. I’m a monster Thor, how could anyone find me beautiful enough?”

Thor stared at Loki silently with a sad expression on his face. He had known Loki felt bad about himself but he never thought Loki’s self-esteem was so low.

“Loki I know this is difficult for you, you have had a very hard time lately. I want to tell you now and every time I see you I want to tell you how beautiful you are. You have always been beautiful to me, inside and out; I never wanted to act on my feelings because I thought we were brothers. When I heard that you weren’t related to me by blood I was thrilled-”

Loki interrupted Thor with a noise like an angry cat. “I’ sure you were thrilled to find out you aren’t connected to the Jotun runt! It must have just tickled you pink!”

Thor frowned at Loki and continued. “-because at last I had a chance with you. I can understand if you want your space. It’s just that I think we need to communicate anyway. We just got married; we should try to talk to each other even if it’s just to discuss our days. Please tell me that you’ll give us a chance to make this marriage work.”

Loki was quiet; he stared at Thor as though his brother had grown a second head. “Thor we were brothers. I cannot just change how I am. I don’t know who I am right now.”

“You are Loki, future Queen Consort of Asgard, my husband, my brother, my dearest friend. Loki I want you to know that you are loved immensely by us all, nothing will ever change how we feel about you.” Thor pressed a soft kiss to Loki’s forehead. “If you want space I will give it to you, but we will speak and we will try to cuddle like this every night. Do you hear me Loki? I will not neglect you.”

“Thank you Thor. I appreciate this more than anything. Truly.” Loki looked up at Thor.

Thor smiled and kissed Loki’s cheek softly; he stroked Loki’s hair and snuggled closer. “I love you Loki. Sweet dreams.”


	7. Better To Ask Forgiveness Than Permission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I took so long, henceforth I will be updating all stories at the end of the month instead of randomly. I have a life outside of AO3 surprisingly enough :)

Chapter 7: Better To Ask Forgiveness Than Permission

Loki walked through the gardens picking herbs for his mother. It had been a month since his wedding to Thor and as Thor had promised Loki was given the space he asked for. They spent every evening after dinner cuddling on the bed talking about whatever came to their minds until they fell asleep. It had been awkward at first but Loki quickly became comfortable with Thor and found their nightly cuddle session the best part of his day.

A few nights ago Loki had tentatively brought up their relationship, more specifically the aspects of it. He had been beet red through the conversation but he was quite firm that he wanted to talk about it with Thor.

“Thor? Can we talk about our intimacies?” Loki started nervously looking up at Thor’s surprised face.

“Of course brother, what part would you like to discuss?”

“Uh kissing? Can we talk about kissing?” Gosh his face was getting redder by the minute! At least Thor wasn't laughing at him or teasing him.

“Alright, do you like kissing?” What a silly question.

“I’ve only kissed you those few times so I can’t really say.”

Thor shifted and cleared his throat nervously. “Well…do you want to try some more? You know just so you can decide about how you feel about it?” he looked hopefully at Loki, clearly trying to look nonchalant but failing entirely.

“Well would you mind?”

“No no! I wouldn’t mind at all. Do you want to make the first move?”

Loki nibbled his lip thoughtfully and looked up at Thor through his lashes. “Could you start? You know more than I do.”

Thor nodded slowly looking a bit startled still. “Oh right sure I can start just tilt your head just so. I’ll move in and….”

It was so soft and sweet Loki moaned quietly as Thor’s soft lips descended on his own. Thor licked and nibbled pleadingly on Loki’s lower lip and the he opened his mouth slightly to allow Thor’s tongue entrance.

This wasn't so hard to do. Loki was actually enjoying it. Thor's tongue still reminded Loki of strawberries and so he savoured the taste throughout the kiss. When Thor drew back reluctantly Loki followed his face for a second, still wanting to kiss.

"So.....was that uh.....satisfactory?" Thor asked nervously.

Loki smiled at him shyly and nodded with a small sound of appreciation. Loki further surprised Thor by moving closer and laying his head on Thor's chest.

"I liked it Thor. Maybe we can do that again sometime?" Loki prayed with all his soul for Thor to say yes and when the Norms answered his prayer with an enthusiastic, and somewhat rough Thor, poor Loki almost swooned from surprise. Thor almost smothered Loki with the enthusiastic kiss he placed firmly on Loki's lips.

"Wow." Was Loki's only answer when Thor ended their passionate kiss at last. The two stared at each other panting heavily in excitement and anxiety in the aftermath of their kiss.

"Let's just go to sleep." Thor burst out suddenly as he quickly released Loki and turned away. Loki felt a sting of hurt emotions as he looked at his husbands back. He too lay down to sleep.

Thor lay stiff as a board with his back to Loki. He had just pressed a kiss on his bride’s lips without permission!

Thor cursed himself angrily. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid! Loki won’t trust me if I keep pushing him!’ He smothered his face with the pillow and sighed. ‘This is much harder than I thought it would be.’

Thor turned slowly to face Loki. His wife was asleep and Thor would have cooed appreciatively if it weren’t for the fact that Loki was such a light sleeper. ‘He is so beautiful. It is sad that we have come together like this. Perhaps if things had been different we could have come to this on our own.’

Loki lay peacefully beside him, the moonlight shining through the windows illuminating his pale skin beautifully.  Thor sighed and watched Loki for a while longer. He loved Loki, his brother was his greatest treasure and Thor would do anything to make things right.

Odin had been avoiding Loki for the most part and Frigga’s only explanation was that the old king was afraid. He had confessed to her that he didn’t want to get involved and hurt Loki again with his stupidity. Thor felt it to be the stupidest excuse ever to leave his father’s mouth, and he wanted to force his father to make more of an effort but Frigga assured him that Odin would come to Loki in his own time.

So Thor had to accept that Odin wouldn’t be forced into having a relationship with Loki but Frigga on the other hand was special. She clearly wanted to bond even closer with Loki than ever before and Thor often saw them together in her garden talking and laughing as they tended the flowers.

Thor smiled at his most recent memory of Loki in their mothers garden, Loki knew precisely which flowers to pick and how much stem they needed and which herbs were ready to be used by the healers. Thor couldn’t even say their names; on the same note did he even know the names of those plants?

It didn’t matter, what mattered was that Loki knew their names, Loki knew everything it seemed. Thor felt his stomach clench with guilt at the reminder that he never gave Loki the credit for his knowledge. Loki’s arsenal of healing spells and herbal salves had saved Thor and their friends on many occasions, but no one ever heard about it or acknowledged it.

Thor stroked Loki’s hair softly and leaned forward to brush his lips across Loki’s brow before he lay back and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

Loki’s green eyes snapped open the moment Thor’s breathing evened out. He sat up slowly, staring at Thor silently. He had been peering at Thor through his lashes while pretending to be asleep; it wasn’t difficult to fool Thor. He had watched in amazement at the emotions which flickered across his husbands face and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what had been on his mind.

‘Stuck with pathetic Loki who cries over the simplest things. Stuck with stupid Loki who doesn’t even know how to kiss. Saddled with Loki who won’t even put out to make my life easier.’ Loki had thought bitterly as a grimace of anger and disappointment crossed Thor’s face.

Maybe he was over thinking but he knew Thor was waiting impatiently for Loki to make the first move but the problem was, Loki didn’t know how. He wasn’t sure he wanted to encourage contact with Thor. The older male was big and intimidating and Loki was small and his magic had been dampened by Odin. Loki had spent the first month of their marriage exercising and taking very good care of his hygiene and appearance like Frigga always did.

He had thought that if he played the part of queen as well as she did he would be beautiful enough for Thor and the prince would love him. Loki knew it was silly but he didn’t know for sure how Thor felt about him, it was frightening to go out with the other male. Loki would watch nervously to see if Thor was looking at other men or women in town or in the grounds. He wouldn’t be able to stand it if Thor cheated on him.

Odin was avoiding him out of disappointment as well, ‘Maybe Thor told him I’m not acting like a wife?’ Loki fretted suddenly, if Odin knew that Loki was preventing the arrival of Thor’s first child he would blow his top! ‘Oh Thor why did you tell him?!’

‘No Loki be calm just wait until morning and you can talk to your mother, she must have refused Odin at some point, she’ll be able to help me! Yes I’ll just go to sleep and talk to mother in the morning.’

Loki lay back down slowly on his back and twined his hands together on is stomach. He stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes before checking the time and leaping out of bed. ‘One a.m. is kind of morning!’

**********************************************************************************

Odin was out for a late stroll as he often was when he needed to think hard on something. He had spent the evening in Frigga’s room and left her once she fell asleep. It was only courteous to return to his rooms before morning unless otherwise directed by his queen.

He stopped to look out of a window at the stars which had been the same as when he was a boy. Ever the same, just like him it seemed.  He was just about to continue his walk but from the opposite direction a frantic Loki came running around the corner in only his nightshirt.

Odin first instinct was to get out of the hell path, but Loki’s expression stopped him dead in his tracks just as his unmovable frame stopped Loki and set him on the floor with a loud thud.

Odin regained his senses and stared down at Loki who stared up in horror.

“Loki?” Odin asked softly as he extended his hand to his son. Loki recoiled and stood up on his own shakily. “Why are you up so late and why are you here?”

Loki didn’t answer for a moment and Odin thought he wouldn’t answer at all.

“I wanted to see mother about something.” Loki mumbled uncomfortably.

Odin felt vaguely alarmed. “What is it? Are you hurt? Thor said he was being careful with you!” The anger he felt on Loki’s behalf was overwhelming to him and apparently to Loki as well.

“No Thor didn’t do any harm to me I just wanted to speak with mother.”

‘Thor didn’t tell Odin that I’m being difficult?’

“Oh well I’m…….I’m glad that you are alright Loki. Your mother is sleeping so perhaps the morning would be a better time to speak with her? Unless you’d like to speak wit- no never mind why would you?”

‘Of course he’d never speak with me! What have I ever done to give him that trust?’

Loki stared at his father in shock, had Odin just been about to offer to listen to Loki’s concern? Loki was so touched he almost agreed to speak with his father but then realised grimly that he wanted to talk about his father not to him!

“I guess I’ll just talk to mother in the morning then.” Loki said finally and Odin’s shoulders sagged slightly. The old king nodded slowly and turned to walk back to Frigga’s rooms.

“If that is what you wish to do my son, pleasant dreams.” Loki watched his father walk away with an unsatisfied feeling.

He wanted Odin to press him for information, he wanted his father to be interested in his problems and thoughts, he wanted very much to hug his father. He just couldn’t hug Odin though so he stepped behind a pillar and conjured a clone of himself. His clone ran toward Odin and wrapped its arms around him tightly and breathed the words Loki could never even think of. “Thank you.”

The clone faded and Odin stood frozen on the spot. He looked down at the ground and Loki frowned, wondering what his father was doing. Then he heard it as his father’s head tilted in his direction ad his father’s eye pinned him at an angle.

“I am always here for you no matter what shape you take.”

**********************************************************************************

Thor noticed a definite change in Loki and Odin following his and Loki’s kissing experiment. They seemed to be looking at each other more and making small talk here and there. Frigga shared Thor’s surprise and the two exchanged confused but relieved looks as Loki and Odin discussed the harvests.

“Ehrm Loki?” Thor asked tentatively, Loki turned to look at him expectantly. “Well I have a free day and I wondered if you would like to go riding with me in the forest?” Thor finished lamely.

To his excitement Loki agreed readily and the two set out immediately after breaking their fast. Once they were off road they rode side by side in companionable silence.

“So you and father are getting along better now. Are you happy about it?” Thor asked curiously, hoping Loki would tell him what caused the sudden change.

Loki stiffened beside him and Thor prayed he hadn’t just ruined the day for both of them but Loki replied.

“We have come to an understanding.”

Well that wasn’t really helping Thor figure out what had happened to make Odin and Loki start talking again but maybe he didn’t want to know. ‘Time for a topic change, think Thor! Something happy!’

“Mother has begun sewing baby clothes for us and she has cleared a room near ours to be a nursery, she has had furniture commissioned too!”

Instead of making Loki smile like a maiden might the topic just seemed to make his wife even more tense and uncomfortable.

“I uh just thought it as funny that she thinks we are so busy with one another that a child is imminent.” Thor said awkwardly but Loki flinched and grimaced and fell still. Loki had yet to speak and Thor didn’t know what to do.

Loki meanwhile was near having a panic attack.

‘Baby things already? A nursery? Is that supposed to be a hint?! What does he mean he thinks it’s funny?! I don’t think it’s funny because mother knows I’m not bedding Thor. I haven’t told her but she must be able to tell! Maybe this if just Thor’s way of hinting that I need to get a move on. Oh I’m going to hate myself for this.’

“Thor I want to have a child by you.” He burst out before he could stop himself, Thor nearly fell off of his horse in surprise at Loki’s statement.

“What? Are you sure? Loki this is so unlike you brother!”

“I’m sure Thor I just want to have your child and settle down. I want to have someone to care for other than myself, I want to grow life. I want you to be the man who puts that life in me Thor.”

Oh gods how Loki hated this! He didn’t want children! He hated the idea of settling down at his young age! He didn’t want Thor to place anything within him! Thor seemed happy though.

‘I guess that’s all that really matters in our relationship, I was fooling myself by thinking it would be different because we are married.’ Loki thought bitterly while Thor grinned brightly beside him.

“Very well Loki if that is what you desire then I shall endeavour to oblige you! I only want you to be happy Loki, and if a child makes you happy then far be it from me to keep that from you!”

Loki smiled at Thor and his husband grinned back at him. Thor reached out and grasped one of Loki’s hands in his tenderly. He looked up into Loki’s face passionately.

“Loki I just want you to know that I know how difficult it must be for you to decide on this. I really appreciate the level of trust you are putting in me by allowing this. I swear I will be careful when bedding you and when you are swollen with babe, and when our child is finally in the world I will feed him or her every night so you can sleep!”

Loki couldn’t imagine what it was like in Thor’s simple little brain but a part of him melted for how innocent Thor was. Another part of him froze at the realisation of what he had just given Thor permission to do.

 


	8. Building Bridges

Chapter 8: Building Bridges

Frigga stroked her husband’s chest contently that morning, she had been pleasantly surprised to find he had stayed the whole night. He usually left her rooms when she fell asleep as Bor had taught him to do.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of my husband’s clingy behaviour?” She teased playfully and Odin delivered a light smack to her bum which made her giggle.

“I thought it might be nice to have a morning chat.” Odin said with a smile. Frigga leaned up to kiss him softly on his bearded face.

Odin turned onto his side so they were facing each other and Frigga smiled expectantly at him. This was how they had slept when they were first married. With their arms around one another, their legs laced together and their faces and torso’s touching.

“I thought about my relationship with Loki.” Odin began and Frigga immediately perked up. “I think I want to get to know him like I should have before. It’s been hard hasn’t it? Finding equal ground with him, finding something we have in common.”

Frigga soothed Odin’s nervous hands with hers and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“It’s alright, everyone is struggling with this but the best we can do is make the most of what we have been given. We both messed up with Loki and we must both strive together to help rebuild him and mend our bonds. Do you truly think you are the only one who has hurt him?”

Odin heaved a shaky breathe and laid his head against Frigga’s breast, his wife ran her fingers through his hair lovingly while he tried to calm down.

“I just feel responsible for what he has become, for what he went through. I knew he was being bullied and teased but I left him to fix it himself because I thought it would build his character but now, it’s built the wrong character.” He whispered.

“No Loki is a man you should be proud of because he did step up to the plate and defend himself when it was necessary and he is a great man, he just needs direction.” Frigga soothed gently trying to encourage her husband.

Odin nodded slowly and sat up. “I will talk to him and rebuild what my pride destroyed. Hopefully Thor is treating him well. Loki was on his way here in quite a state last night. I saw him when I was on my way to my own rooms. I though Thor had hurt him somehow. He seemed afraid to see me.” Odin said trying to be causal and light but failing miserably.

Frigga sat up and wrapped her arms around Odin’s shoulders resting her head on his left shoulder. “Well did he say why he was coming here?”

“He said he wanted to ask you something important but he said he would talk to you this morning.” Odin placed his hands over Frigga’s and examined her manicured nails quietly.

“Why did you think Thor had hurt him?” Odin looked at his wife out of the corner of his eye and found concern on her face.

“He looked afraid and nervous and clearly just out of bed. I just assumed….”

Frigga kissed his shoulder after a while and stood from the bed.

“Come on let’s get dressed and face the day.”

**********************************************************************************

Frigga watched Odin and Loki interacting quietly talking about the harvest for the year and some political strategies. It seemed her husband was telling the truth about his desire to make friends with Loki again and Frigga felt her heart lift as the two became a bit more comfortable the more they spoke.

Loki looked to be bright today but Frigga could sense an underlying feeling of sadness and anxiety behind his eyes. She couldn’t help but wonder if Odin had been right and Thor had hurt Loki last night.

Thor abruptly cut off the father son conversation by inviting Loki to go out riding which Loki agreed to.

‘Thor can’t have hurt him or he wouldn’t agree to go out with him.’ Frigga thought. ‘But then why was he looking for me so late at night?’

Frigga put it out of her mind and watched her sons leave for their trip and her husband held his hand out to her invitingly.

“Come Frigga we have to attend court.”

**********************************************************************************

Loki and Thor stopped riding at noon and settled in an alcove in the forest to eat. Thor quickly unpacked their supplies and let the horses graze. He invited Loki to sit on the blanket and then filled a plate with sandwiches and salad for Loki and a plate of meats and sandwiches for himself.

They ate in companionable silence for a while and Thor sought to break the ice.

“So what gender do you hope our child will be?” He asked Loki and the smaller male looked at him and slowly chewed his mouthful of food and swallowed it.

“I don’t really mind.” Loki’s response was subdued and Thor frowned in consternation.

“Now Loki surely you care whether we produce a boy or girl?” Loki shrugged and Thor stared at him for a long moment.

‘Why doesn’t he care? It’s our baby he should care what its gender is!’ Thor felt a bit put out at this. Loki had been so willing earlier.

“Well do you care about what we could name our child?” Thor asked and Loki frowned.

“I thought the father names the children, I have no say.” Thor stared at Loki in confusion and Loki resumed eating.

“Loki why are you acting so cold? I thought you wanted a child and now you won’t even wonder what he or she will be like? Loki what’s wrong?” Thor wanted answers and he would get them whether Loki was willing to give them or not.

“I just don’t see the point in asking such questions when there isn’t even a child in me yet!” Loki replied crossly, not used to being nagged for information by Thor.

Thor didn’t take this as the warning it was and he grinned. Loki suddenly noticed Thor had moved behind him and was wrapping his arms around Loki’s middle.

“Well I am sure I can begin to remedy that my wife.” Thor nibbled on Loki’s neck and the smaller male placed his empty plate on the ground by Thor’s and place his hands over Thor’s hands. Loki shivered as Thor’s tongue soothed what his teeth nibbled and his hands travelled over Loki’s hips roughly.

Loki gasped as Thor’s teeth sank into the back of his neck.

‘Since when does Thor know so many of my weak spots, he’s bedded me once for Norns sake!’ Loki thought angrily.

Thor smiled and kissed him softly on the shoulder as he turned Loki around so they were facing each other again.

Loki put on a meek smile and allowed Thor to lay him down. Loki lay beneath Thor and the bigger prince kissed him tenderly and trailed down to whisper in his ear.

“I love you Loki, I promise I will take care with you. You’re so good Loki, so good. I’m so proud of you Loki. That’s it just relax Loki, you are safe with me.”

Loki’s stomach flipped at Thor’s words partly out of happiness at being called good and partly because he was terrified.

Thor seemed to be fooled enough by Loki’s subservience and it was just Loki’s luck that it wouldn’t last long. Thor drew up suddenly and frowned at Loki, he trailed one hand down the smaller males torso and rubbed at the suspiciously soft bulge in his trousers.

Loki couldn’t find it in himself to become erect under Thor’s ministrations and Thor finally stopped and knelt above him.

“Loki why aren’t you enjoying this? Did I say something wrong?” Thor asked in concern while stroking Loki’s cheek.

Loki shook his head and blushed shamefaced. “I just-I’m not feeling like it Thor.” He murmured unhappily, fearing he had just upset Thor again.

‘Why can’t I just be a good queen?’

Thor just smiled and kissed him one more time.

“Why didn’t you just say? Come my love let’s return to the palace and see if we can get you in the mood hm?” Thor lifted Loki to his feet and packed everything away.

‘He isn’t angry? He must be angry and just hiding it. He wants to have that baby and he wants to take me, I know he does, the proof was against my thigh not two minutes ago.’ Loki sighed and saddled his horse up again.

They rode back to the palace speaking lightly and occasionally holding hands.

It was painful for Loki to allow Thor’s company so long. He knew he would have to spend the whole night with his husband too.

When they arrived at the palace it was dark already but not quite dinner time and Loki’s heart sank when Thor requested that their dinner be brought to their rooms later than usual.

Loki let his husband guide him back to their rooms and with each step he tried to find an excuse to avoid amorous activity.

‘Broken ankle? Too serious. Headache? He’ll have a potion for it. Sore from riding? No he’ll just use that as an excuse to rub my bum….How did I get myself into this? I really don’t want to do this, but if I just refuse he will think I’m playing the innocent maiden and he’ll take me anyway. What to do?’

“Ah!” Loki gasped in pain. Thor halted and turned to him with concern all over his face.

“Loki what is wrong? Tell me. I’m here, how can I help you?” Thor rubbed Loki’s back as he curled in around his stomach.

“Oh nothing nothing don’t worry about me. Oh!” Loki gasped again and avoided Thor’s intense gaze fearfully.

“Loki you are clearly in pain. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Loki started panting both in pretend and from the anxiety of his situation. “Mother I need mother!”

Thor lifted him at once in bridal style and rushed him to his mother’s rooms.

“Mother Loki is ill!” Thor shouted as he kicked the doors open and strode in. He set Loki down on their mother’s bed and turned to see her and Odin sitting by the fire.

Frigga and Odin stood at once and made their way over to Loki.

“What is wrong?” Frigga asked quietly. Loki just wrapped his arms tighter around his middle and whimpered.

Frigga straightened and pushed Thor and Odin to the other side of the room.

Once they were out of hearing range she sat beside Loki and murmured softly in his ear.

“Why are you pretending to be so ill? Did Thor hurt you Loki?”

Loki breathed a reply under his breathe and Frigga only just caught it. “No but he might if he finds out this is a trick. My stomach really does hurt though.”

“You are anxious Loki that is why your stomach is hurting you. Stop pretending and explain what this is all about.” Frigga had always been strict about honesty and Loki grimaced and looked at her.

“I told Thor I want him to put a child in me.” He murmured.

This puzzled Frigga, it was good to want a child after all.

“I don’t see why that is so bad?”

Loki huffed. “I lied, he was going on about how you are making baby clothes for us and you organised the nursery already and he just-I thought he was hinting that he wants a child so I said I wanted one. We almost copulated in the forest but I couldn’t get aroused and Thor shrugged it off and said he would find a way to make me feel aroused when we got back to our rooms. I kind of realised after everything that I gave Thor permission to do me but I’m not ready yet so I had to find a way to delay.” Loki stared up at Frigga pleading her to understand and Frigga sighed.

“Thor wants to wait until you are ready but the treaty will not hold forever, you will have to have a child sometime this century. I’m sure he didn’t mean to pressure you, I don’t mean to pressure you either Loki, I’m sorry you perceived it that way. Now what do you want to do?” Frigga looked expectantly at him.

“Could you give an excuse so I’m meant to rest for a few days? I swear I will talk to Thor eventually just give me a few days to not be jumped?” Loki’s big green eyes begged her silently and she found herself sighing.

“Alright but just this once!”

Frigga sat up and got to her feet. Thor and Odin were beside her and Loki in an instant.

“Well what’s wrong with him?” Thor asked anxiously.

Frigga smoothed his hair and kissed his cheek.

“He will be fine Thor it’s a natural part of his cycle.”

Thor blinked dumbly. “What?”

“He is ovulating now, he is fertile, but for some reason Loki always feels it when he ovulates. Give him a few days of rest and you can try for a child if you wish to.”

Loki gaped up at her, that wasn’t what he wanted her to say.

‘Too bad mother is right’ Loki thought with a wince as he felt another squeezing in his ovary.

Thor just grinned contently down at him.

“Come then Loki I shall treat you to a warm bath!”

Loki sighed as Thor lifted him bridal style again and carried him out of their mother’s room.

 


	9. Trust Issues

Chapter 9: Trust Issues

“So you are fertile now Loki?” Thor asked conversationally and Loki just nodded.

Thor was washing him gently with soothing soaps and warm water. Loki felt like mush being pampered so luxuriously.

Thor even gave him some wine to ease his cramps.

Loki felt very sad when the bath ended and Thor dried him off carefully and led him to bed.

It was once they were both comfortably snuggled into the warmth of the bed that Thor finally spoke.

“So when will you be able to try for the baby? Are you still in too much pain?”

The concern in his tone made Loki feel a little guilty but it was survival of the fittest.

“I’m sore Thor and I will be for days, especially when my menses starts.”

“But your fertile stage lasts two months so you’ll be sore for a few days and the rest of the days we can spend trying to make sure your menses doesn’t start?” Thor asked hopefully.

Loki groaned inwardly leave it to Thor to find a baby making plan.

“Loki?”

“Hm?”

“May I try to get you in the mood? I heard sometimes it helps with cramps.”

“Thor I’m sore, I doubt sex will help me feel better.”

“Please may I try?”

“You may try but I won’t promise anything.”

“Thank you Loki.”

Thor’s lips assaulted Loki’s neck and collar bone while his hands went about tweaking nipples and scratching over Loki’s hips. Loki huffed as Thor’s hand quested between his legs to his entrance which, much to Loki’s chagrin, was moist despite minimal stimulation.

Thor drew his hand back to his face and stared at the discharge which alarmingly was snow white and thick. Loki reached down and scooped up more of the same discharge and sniffed it gingerly.

“Och! Thrush.” He grumbled unhappily.

Thor blinked in confusion. “I don’t understand, what is thrush?”

Loki sighed and gave Thor a filthy look. “It over growth of yeast, it sometimes happens at this stage in my cycle. In that black box on the book shelf there is a salve and a tube with a white knob at the end bring them to me.”

Thor did as he was asked and watched Loki pour a measure of the cream into the tube.

“Loki what are you doing?”

Loki gave Thor a really nasty look and snapped irritably in response “What does it look like? I’m going to put this inside my channel so the thrush is remedied.”

Thor looked at the tube and frowned. “But that isn’t the right shape to go in right is it?”

Loki scoffed and lay back to insert it. “No, it hurts a lot because it has such a horrid ridge instead of being blunt and conical like a penis but it clears up the infection well enough so I can’t complain.”

Thor watched as Loki inserted the tube and pushed the plunger in to release the cream.

He felt ready to faint at the sight and Loki must have noticed because he yanked Thor to lay down again.

“I cannot sit up again until it is absorbed properly so let’s go to sleep.”

Thor’s sleep was restless and wrought with images of Loki plunging the foul cream deep into himself.

**********************************************************************************

“Loki seemed awfully calm while you were talking to him considering how much pain he was in….” Odin muttered against Frigga’s neck suspiciously.

“Mmm he is in pain but it will pass in a few days as I said. Sooner if Thor can ease the cramps.” Frigga murmured patiently in return.

Odin sighed and turned her to face him.

“Will you tell me what you were discussing so fervently?”

“Not likely.”

“Frigga….”

“Odin….”

“I do not wish to fight with you. I just thought maybe Loki told you about Thor’s treatment of him.”

“Thor has not done Loki any physical harm. Loki confided that Thor inadvertently pressured him to start trying for a baby and he was just freaking out a bit.”

“Start trying?”

Frigga’s blood ran cold as she realised her slip up. Frigga moved to roll out of the bed but Odin frowned down at her and pinned her shoulders to the bed with his hands.

“No Frigga! Tell me what you know.”

Frigga chewed her lip unhappily but she knew her husband wouldn’t let her go until she’d explained.

“Thor told me he was taking it slow with Loki and building a trusting relationship before doing anything intimate. Loki has been finding it difficult to allow Thor intimacy. I think it’s a combination of his low self-esteem, nerves, desire to be free, and quite simply Loki doesn’t know if he can trust Thor enough to expose himself so plainly.”

“Why did you not tell me this before? Why did Loki not tell me?”

Odin released Frigga and sat up with a growl of frustration. Frigga stroked his arm gently and sat up beside him.

“I did not want to alarm you, I thought they were dealing with it well enough on their own. As for why Loki didn’t tell you…..I think he feels you aren’t concerned about such problems or more likely that you cannot sympathise with him.”

Odin rubbed his face and sighed heavily.

“I really messed up. I wish he could come to me for anything. I wish I could grab him and shake him and shout at him and make him trust me. I miss the boy who would sit on my knee and braid my beard while I addressed the court. I miss the boy who would bring injured animals to me for healing. I miss the boy who could tell me anything. When did we become so estranged that we stopped all of that? Why?”

Frigga rubbed his back comfortingly and didn’t answer. Finally Odin stood from the bed and left.

**********************************************************************************

Loki wondered with a groan how many times he was going to run into his father late at night. After Thor fell asleep he snuck out of bed to try and tire himself out. He had narrowly avoided intimacy with Thor by way of his quick spell, of course Thor didn’t know thrush wasn’t typical of Aesir so Loki was sure he wouldn’t know that Loki could spell himself to cause it.

He was in the halls alone and of course ran into Odin who was being annoyingly fatherly.

“Loki what is on your mind? You have seemed troubled for two days now.”

Loki sighed as he stared at his father sullenly.

“I just don’t seem to be doing anything right.” He confessed to Odin after the king spent an hour prodding him for an answer.

“Thor wants to bed me and have children. Mother wants me to have Thor’s children and you-” Loki cut off and looked at Odin grimly before shaking his head.

“Go on Loki, what am I doing wrong?” Odin murmured quietly.

“You also want this child don’t you? You’re angry because I haven’t let Thor bed me since the wedding. You think I’m being wilfully disobedient.” Loki replied sadly.

“Would I be right Loki? Are you being wilfully disobedient just to spite me?” Loki looked at his father in shock. He had just been asked for his opinion?!

“No you would be wrong!” Loki said with hurt shining in his eyes. “I have every right to deny Thor the chance to rip me open again!”

Odin soothed Loki with comforting strokes up and down his arms.

“Thor has hurt you then?”

“On the wedding night he split me rather forcefully.” Loki replied sullenly.

Odin didn’t look concerned.

“Loki you know that is natural for virgins. Thor cannot be faulted for tearing you on the wedding night.”

Loki felt a bit betrayed by his father.

“Of course you would take his side!” He snarled angrily at Odin. “You don’t know how I feel and you don’t care! It’s perfectly fine for Thor to hurt me isn’t it? As long I obey you and do whatever everyone in this damned place wants me to do?!”

Loki felt very close to crying as he shouted at Odin. This felt too much like when he drove his father into the Odin Sleep all those weeks ago.

Odin shook his head and grasped Loki’s arms comfortingly.

“Loki I am not taking Thor’s side I am merely stating a fact you know to be true. I care deeply about how you feel and if you would tell me I would listen gladly. Thor has no right to hurt you on purpose, if this is your fear then I will reprimand him and ascertain that he will be careful with you in the future. I am not the evil you make me out to be Loki.” Odin stared at Loki patiently and Loki just struggled to get over his father’s words.

“Come Loki, let us go to your rooms and we can discuss this with Thor hm?” Loki allowed Odin to lead him away slowly towards the rooms where Thor was fast asleep.

 


	10. Chapter 10: Night Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know ok I know it has been almost a year and this pissy little chapter is all I give you? I am sorry alright, I have been focused on other fanfics, my part time studies, work and family things, I want to say I will be posting more frequently but in fact only about once a month will be possible. Please check out my other, better written stories if you get bored!

Chapter 10: Night Talk

Loki and Odin walked into the young royal couple’s chambers to find Thor snoring loudly in their bed.

“Thor wake up, father wants to speak to you.” Loki nudged his husband and turned to walk away.

“Wait Loki, I want you here for this.” Odin called him back commandingly.

Loki turned to face his father slowly with a grimace.

“I thought you would just warn him?” Loki said moodily as he sat down on the end of the bed.

Odin sat down heavily in a chair beside the bed facing his sons. “Yes but if you remember correctly I also said we would discuss with Thor. Hence you are to be here as well.”

“Loki?” Thor frowned at his wife in confusion. “What’s going on? What is father talking about?”

“Loki explain to Thor the basic gist of why we are here.” Odin watched Loki warring with himself and internally sighed before speaking. “It is to do with your marital duties.”

Loki took a deep breath and steeled himself for the conversation. “I don’t want to fulfil my duties as your wife.”

Thor blinked dumbly at him. “Huh?”

Odin sighed and shook his head in disdain. “Loki is saying he doesn’t want to let you bed him Thor.”

That clearly got Thor’s full attention and he sat bolt upright and frowned in concern at Loki. “What? Why? I thought you liked it on our wedding night?”

Loki scowled. “Well you were wrong I didn’t like it.” Loki grumbled angrily crossing his arms over his chest like a spoilt child.

Thor stared in confusion at Loki and finally tore his eyes away to blink confusedly at Odin.

The king cleared his throat and said simply. “You hurt him, which is not unexpected, but it has made Loki weary of you.”

“But Loki I didn’t hurt you on purpose! You cannot be angry with me?”

“Well I am. So-so do something about it.” Loki was sure this wasn’t what Odin had in mind but really, he didn’t know how else to handle this!

“Loki you were saying today that you want to have a baby by me! Why would you tell me something like that if you were angry with me?” Thor was getting more and more puzzled. What was going through Loki’s head that he felt the need to lie to and manipulate his own husband?

“I-” Loki stopped short and looked to Odin for help. The king shook his head and made an encouraging gesture. “You were telling me that I was taking too long to come to your bed as your wife, you were telling me how everyone thinks I’m happy to get pregnant so there is no point in me asking them to intervene. You did that to force me to give in and do what I didn’t want to do in the first place!”

Loki’s tirade ended with a snarl and Thor winced in shock.

“Loki I never told you that you were taking too long. As for everyone else yes they think you will be fine with getting pregnant but I didn’t tell you that to make you feel alone, I told you that to reassure you that when we become parents you will be a wonderful mother. I never wanted you to feel pressured by me.”

Loki scowled and shook his head darkly.

Odin leaned forwards to speak to them both. “It is clear to me that you have not been communicating with one another as openly as you should have been. Right now I think Thor truly has no idea why you are so angry and I am equally surprised that you can have so much anger over such trivial comments he has made. Loki there is more you aren’t saying, I take it to be the wedding night as that is what this is about. Enlighten us please.”

Loki huffed and drew his knees up against his chest with his arms. “You didn’t hurt me like I thought you would. You did it wrong.” He glared at Thor.

Thor for his part sat gaping like a fish. “I’m sorry Loki, you are upset because I didn’t hurt you more?”

“Yes!” Loki shouted in exasperation. “You enjoyed being gentle and sweet and I enjoyed it!”

Thor looked so helpless that Loki would have laughed under other circumstances. “Loki-? I don’t…quite know what to say.”

Loki scowled. “An apology would be nice.”

Thor blinked dimly. “You want me to apologize for not hurting you badly? Loki-father please help me, I am very confused.” Thor looked desperately to Odin.

The king smiled. “I suppose that when one expects something but doesn’t get it one would be upset.” He mused with laughter twinkling in his eye.

“Damn straight.” Loki muttered.

“Well then I am sorry for not hurting you as much as I should have?” Thor said slowly to Loki.

“Thank you.” He snipped in return.

Odin sighed and shook his head at his sons. “Good talk, we must do this more often.”

Loki shook his head immediately, looking alarmed. “No! Once was enough.”

“But Loki it is good for us to communicate and I think fathers’ presence is good for us.” Said Thor meekly.

Odin nodded. “I agree with Thor and I believe that leaves you out numbered Loki. We shall do this the last night of each week; it will be good for all three of us.”

Loki scowled at Thor viciously while Odin bade them goodnight and left.

“What?” Asked Thor awkwardly.

“You know what! You encouraged him to make this harder on us!”

“No I want him here to make it easier. Loki be serious would you have come to me about anything you just came to me about if it hadn’t been for father?”

Loki’s silence was answer enough and Thor tsked.

“See? Now I want to know more about your issue with sleeping with me.”

Loki scowled. “I don’t have an issue!” Thor gave him a dirty look. “Fine I have an issue; surely you see how wrong this is?”

Loki gazed imploringly at Thor and sighed when his husband just gazed at him blankly. “We are brothers, and we are behaving like married people.”

“But we are married people Loki.” said Thor gently.

“No! Married people are not siblings, they aren’t raised together!”

“Loki we aren’t related….”

“So? It’s still odd and I don’t like it.”

They sat silently regarding each other until Thor finally broke the silence.

“It did not hurt so much that you could be put off of being bedded, you tried to encourage a second round when we got back to our rooms that night.”

“I was drunk! I don’t remember that!” Loki argued crossly.

“Loki…”  
“What Thor?”  
“Come here!”

Loki tried to duck out of Thor’s reach but failed and he gasped as Thor’s huge arms slammed the air from his lungs and Thor pinned him to the bed. He lay wriggling and gasping for breath as he tried to get out of Thor’s grasp.

“Loki shhh…” Thor’s lips found his neck and Loki squeaked indignantly.

Thor suckled and nipped at the sensitive skin on Loki’s long white neck and over his collar bone. Loki struggled to focus on other things; what he had to do the next day, what it would be like to never brush his teeth, how not bathing feels, what Volstagg looks like naked, what Laufey looks like naked, dead kittens.

‘Yes dead kittens will stop the arousal that Thor is causing. Think of dead kittens….oholy….ah!’ Loki panted as Thor noticed his hardening manhood.

The older prince smiled and leaned up to kiss Loki on the lips softly. “Not more than this, I swear.” Before Loki could ask what Thor meant the older male ground his hips against Loki’s.

Loki felt his back arch and saw white spots in front of his eyes. He didn’t want this but it was so good, maybe Thor was right and he was just being stupid. He moaned when Thor’s mouth returned to his neck and the older prince ground harder and shifted the angle.

Thor moaned quietly in Loki’s ear, he knew this was not welcomed but it was one way of getting Loki to see what he was missing out on. Besides that it felt good to hold Loki in his arms so passionately after so long in a platonic marriage. He could feel his end was nearing and he stiffened when he and Loki fell over the top and soaked the fronts of their trousers.

They lay panting and exchanging sloppy kisses while their heart rates slowed.

“Now are you keen on marriage?” Thor panted.

Loki scoffed and shook his head. “I don’t know. I still don’t want you taking me and I still don’t want your babies.”

Thor nodded sadly. “I know, but can we have this?”

Loki was silent for so long that Thor thought he had fallen asleep. “Yes.” The response as so quiet that Thor almost missed it but he smiled and rolled off of Loki. He pulled Loki to rest against his side and they dozed off in each other’s arms.


End file.
